9. Sahagun

Surrender

Breaking down the behaviors triggered by fear that cause us to push our physical and emotional selves beyond balance.

Notes from Elizabeth's Camino: This Essence combination came from the Flowers collected around one of the more challenging moments on the trail in terms of my internal journey. I had met up the previous night with both the American boys and a much bigger group of three British guys, two British girls, two Germans, an Australian girl and a man from the Netherlands who had started the trail at his front door. It was suddenly a different trip, filled with laughter and companionship.

But I was still a bit edgy about slowing down from my Spartan pace, so the next morning I walked beyond where the group had arranged to meet for the night. I don’t exactly know what possessed me to do so, but it meant that I walked in the blazing afternoon heat, ran out of water, burned my legs so badly that they bled and generally felt physically scared for the first time. When I arrived in Sahagun, the albergue was empty. I felt bereft of my new community. I knew that I had pushed too hard, and I needed to look at the personality pattern that drove me to this place. The next day, I slowed my pace dramatically and walked only a few kilometers so as to meet up with the group again. As I sat in the grass and waited for the group to catch me, I realized that I was ready to look at the pattern and let it go with kindness. I think this Essence will be helpful for any that find themselves in a similar place.

-Helps dissolve the habit of not listening to our bodies and doing too much.
-Helps untangle and resolve shame spirals such as the fear we are not enough that lead us to punishing physical endeavors that have no purpose beyond hurting ourselves.
-Sahagun is a gift of grace
- opening a door to a new way of being even when we think we will never resolve these old self destructive patterns.