At this point, cabin fever rages. No craft activity has any allure. My frequent short walks, too long curtailed by icy roads and bitter winds, take on the qualities of a rant in motion. It’s time for the big thaw.

After thirty years in New Hampsha, its hard to avoid the truth that we have a lot more winter weather ahead of us. The big thaw is unlikely for another three four five weeks. I pretend otherwise. I grasp at straws. Look! There’s a muddy puddle! See! It was not the act of a deranged person to buy all those seeds.

This time of year, you give us hope with your descriptions of all things thawing, green, and flowering once more. Emails from the south and far west tell of Flowering Quince, Crab Apples and Daffodils. Just as we look for the robins’ return, we also await your annual report of the Yellow Lady Banksia Rose blooming in your California garden once again or the first mow of your North Carolina backyard. As we hang on by a thread of black humor and salty snacks, your descriptions of scent and color and warmth keep us going.

Because frankly, the view here of snow melting between storms is rather uninspiring.

And also unlikely to last. This has been a winter of nonstop sleeze ( snow mixed with freezing rain for those of you whose minds went elsewhere) with more expected ad nauseum.

And I am tired of sleeze, ready to rest on my laurels of sleeze management NOW without any further sleeze to attend to. Why, only last week I had what I hoped would be my peak moment of sleeze management.

Just after everyone else had rolled out into an ongoing ice storm, the UPS guy blew into the office. In a lather, he reported that his truck was off the road half way down the hill. I offered him a bucket of sand and a shovel and then followed him down the hill with the days’ packages piled high in a wheelbarrow and wrapped in an enormous blue tarp to protect them from the ongoing sleeze.

By dragging the runners of the wheelbarrow in the icy road, I managed to stop the wheelbarrow before it crashed into the derailed truck. The driver was in a frenzy of useless engine gunning. I suggested we put sand or a board under the back wheels which were spinning inches above the icy ground. I suggested we load the packages BEFORE I tried to push him out so that he would not have to stop the truck again should he get free. To both suggestions he gunned the truck engine.

So, I shoveled sand under the truck wheels myself and then leaned in and gave the UPS truck a couple of big pushes. Shortly, the truck was free and moving. Sliding in fact, further and further down the road away from me, my wheelbarrow and the day’s packages.

As predicted, this required me to chase the truck down the icy hill with my cargo.

Another hundred yards and the truck came to somewhat of a halt. The driver came to the back of the truck to load the packages. Since he was still on an icy incline, I suggested I load the packages while he keep his foot on the brake. My comment, “This is not worth dying for.” fell on deaf ears. He loaded the packages as the truck drove itself an inch at a time down the hill.

Just as the last package was aboard, the truck picked up momentum. The driver raced to take the wheel for a sassy slide to the bottom of the hill.

I turned to push the wheelbarrow up the long, long hill to home.

Ahh memories.

And isn’t it great? The weatherman tells us we are in for a humdinger of six to twelve inches of “mixed precipitation” today and tomorrow. In otherwords, more sleeze. William thinks SNOWDAY. I think WHEELBARROW RUN.

Well I am off. I need to go look at that patch of brown grass before its gone again. As we prepare to kiss all brown earth goodbye for another winter go round, it’s become a beautiful sight.

But it might not be enough.

If you go out to your backyard to savor your Redbud in blossom, the one you have been telling me about every spring for the last decade and find me there, you’ll know why. I was onbpard when the UPS truck just couldn’t stop sliding between my house and yours.

After much effort, my hero, Ben, figured out the problem with the blog. Thanks to Ben, we are able to upload photos once again. Here are the missing photos of the new St John Flower Essences. The full descriptions of these Essences can be found in a recent post and are also available as a printed document ( just call us 603-469-3662 or email us at green.hope.farm@valley.net) This is a Calabash tree.Here the ripening Calabash gourds hang off the main branches of the tree. These gourds, growing to the size of basketballs are part of the signature of this plant. They are almost unbreakable. So too, this Essence, among other things, is all about containing, protecting, sustaining, and supporting our inner creations.Cat’s Claw. Not the best photo but its all in the Essence and this one has already come in very handy. We talk to so many people with animals that have difficulty remembering the rules of their household. While Spiderwort continues to help animals sort out the directions from their people and discern what’s expected of them, Cat’s Claw has already helped a lot of animals to remember to disengage when they have temporarily forgotten that they aren’t supposed to climb the curtains or engage in endless fighting with the other household animals or use their claws on the new couch or…… People have taken a shine to it too, since it offers great support for de-escalating and disengaging for any sort of tangle. This is Christmas Bush, the new one for wound healing. We have been interested to see how often this one has called to you and been suggested by the Angels for wounds beyond the physical dimension, particularly relationship wounds. Coco Plum. Its tiny green Flowers so beautifully echo its gifts for soothing our way through the small discomforts of lifeHere’s Inkberry, its blossoms reflecting its Flower Essence support to bring ashore your ideas into stable manifestation. I am sorry I am always using the rather technical word manifestation. Happy to receive your suggestions for a phrase less stuffy.Inkberry again, with a Sea Grape already using its sheltering roots to plant itself. That is one of the great gifts of this plant. It forms such a solid root structure that other plants can thrive once it has rooted itself. This of course has implications in terms of the kind of support it offers those looking for support to manifest their own creation.Anyways, I took this photo because I thought these Inkberry’s were growing in such an extraordinarily beautiful spot. This plant looks out across the channel from St. John to Tortola in the British Virgin Islands.My overexposed shot of Madagascar Periwinkle. The color is more like the one Flower in shadows in the upper left hand corner of the photo. This one is proving a star! Nicker Nut. I have certainly noticed that many yellow Flowers offer vibrational wisdom about well, some sort of wisdom. And its hard to miss the fact that Flowers growing on the beach are often about bridging the manifest and unmanifest world. We can see both these strands in Nicker Nut which helps us make wise choices about what we create, be it a new life or a new job or a new project. Here are some NIcker Nuts. Aren’t they lovely? These gorgeous but tough, timeless beauties grow inside ridiculously prickly pouches, two other ways that Nicker Nut’s appearance reflects the vibrational strength of its Flower Essence. The seeds are nearly indestructible reflecting the way that Nicker Nut helps us to choose wise manifestations that will go the distance. The prickly pouches reflect the ways Nicker Nut helps us figure out how to properly take care of our new creations, really protect them in their gestation until they are ready to sail the seven seas as this nut does. Last but not least, Spoon Tree for clarity of creative vision.

Friends from Bermuda who live in one of our favorite Bermuda Gardens brought their children to Vermont this week to experience a New England winter and to see snow for the FIRST TIME.

Here was meant to be a photo of 5 year old Zander learning from May May about the pleasures of a snow bath. His sister, 2 year old Annabelle was completely horrified by the amount of clothing she was expected to wear to be outside in the snow. She was just outside the frame of the photograph that failed to post, pulling off her mittens, boots, socks and tossing everything into the snow! An easy image to imagine without a photograph!

It was an inspired week for the Bermuda crew to visit as we have had daily snow squalls, three days of all day snow, a two day ice storm, high winds creating white outs and more storms predicted for this weekend. Jim and Will have now had four snow days and four two hour delay days since the first of the year and are looking forward to going to school in July.

This morning will be another wonderland for Zander and family as the sun has come out to illuminate the ice on the landscape. It’s a pretty magnificent sight, even for those of us with many a New England winters under our belts.

Only sadly, I am STILL having technical difficulties with the blog and my efforts to post photos of the ice storm and also of Riley looking like ice storm Valentine’s Day cheesecake have failed to load.

BEN!!!!!!! I need your help!

A number of you have emailed to ask me to go over my process of designing gardens with the Angels of the Nature Kingdom. This is the time of year that I do this planning and I am happy to explain my process.

WHY I AM MOTIVATED
As you may recall from previous blogs, the Angelic kingdom is responsible for the divine planning of all form. Therefore, it is to the Angels I turn in order to plan the gardens. They not only have designed all the Flowers and vegetables I will grow, but they now the best configuration of plants for this season at my specific location for the specific purposes of Green Hope Farm.

The love many farmers and gardeners feel towards plants opens them to unconsciously receive guidance from the Angels and get generalized hits and snippets of helpful data. My communication is an effort to refine this guidance from a heartfelt interest in sowing a crop of buckwheat or a prompting to purchase a certain perennial to a very detailed plan for all the gardens for this growing season.

While I began my conversations in the late 1980’s simply because it sounded like a wonderful idea to work with Angels, I continue because of the amazing results of the last two decades. The guidance I have received from the Angels, combined with support from the Elementals, and my own efforts have consistently resulted in astoundingly healthy, high vibration, and beautiful gardens.
THE RISKS
Today, I spent the morning dealing with technology problems. Our UPS customer service rep arrived late yesterday to upgrade our system and since then, our UPS computer is not communicating with the UPS data center, each package label is processing at a glacial pace, the internet is coming and going on our wireless system (mostly going) and our email server is down.

In contrast, my Angel friends are right here, need no technology, and offer uplifting words of support and love CONSTANTLY. Their message about the day’s technology snafus? “Not to worry.” My experience is that our communications technology has been much more complicated and more confusing than ANY of my conversations with Angels.

Sometimes people have suggested that my conversations with Angels are evil and dangerous. I do not think that talking to Angels is ever evil. I also think that this is not a dangerous pursuit. If you have some concerns about the accuracy of the messages you receive, you do not need to ask them if your Aunt Maude needs that open heart surgery. You may want to work up to the loaded questions or simply never ask loaded questions. Aspiring to a beautiful flowing conversation with Angels about gardening is a lovely place to begin and a completely safe one.

No garden is too small. One of you dear people mentioned that you’d be doing container gardening on an apartment deck this summer and hoped to work with the Angels on this. Some of the most beautiful garden work I have ever seen done in cooperation with Angels was done in small containers on a deck.

SETTING THE MOOD TO VISIT
The quiet of previous eras served the work of tuning in to the consciousness in Nature. In all my conversations with the Angels, I try to create the quiet of these earlier times. Music offers too much distracting stimulation for me, though others may not find this to be the case for themselves.

I need silence.

In this northern climate, during this time of year, nature helps me in this task. The snows of February muffle the sounds of the external world. Inside the house, there is a blanketed and thick silence. It has a feeling of ripeness as well as emptiness. As I settle into this silence, I find my way into conversation with the Angels easily.

I need this silence for our conversations because planning these gardens is mostly about listening. The quieter it is, the easier it is for me to hear and feel where nature wants to take the gardens.

So, when I sit down with a sheaf of blank paper and seed catalogs and the intention to visit with the Angels about the year’s gardens, I sit in a quiet, quiet room.

CAN I REALLY TALK TO AN ANGEL
This is a central question for many people. Our culture has talked most of us out of being confident in our own ability to find our own inner authority or trust what we know or connect with any aspect of our own God given divinity.

The culture suggests that only a rare few can connect with divinity whereas the truth is that EVERYTHING IS DIVINITY! We can’t actually be outside it!

The most frequently heard words on TV ads must be ‘Ask your Doctor”. In every way, we are encouraged to trust the “experts” be they Charles Schwab for investment advice or a doctor for the highest wisdom about our OWN bodies.

When I examine these messages, I try to remember that the culture is created by people with an investment in selling us something OUTSIDE OURSELVES. The culture is not going to encourage us to believe in ourselves in any way, shape, or form.

While this may sound like a paradox, working with Angels is all about trusting yourself and your own oneness with a divinity that has no limits. It is all about being the authority in your own life and trusting you know what you know.

METHODS OF ATTUNEMENT
There are so many ways into conversation. Doodling, imagining gardens in your mind’s eye, looking through photographs of Flowers and gardens, or imagining what an Angel would say to you are just a few possibilities.

Any imaginative process opens up the natural channels of communication that have always been there. The communion is a natural state.

Here is how it might go. You are sitting, warm and comfortable, in a quiet room. You ask for guidance from Angels about your vegetable garden. As you sit and day dream, the thought occurs to you that corn might look really wonderful in the center of the garden. You draw some hills in the middle of the your design for the garden plot. For some reason, five hills of corn feels right. When you go to your pile of seed catalogs, some of the catalogs feel more interesting to you than others, so you begin to leaf through the corn section in the one that caught your attention most. You kind of feel like it would be great to grow some old varieties of corn, some colorful heirloom kinds. You come up with a couple kinds that interest you and decide to order the packets. Then you go back to look at your drawing and wait for a minute or two. A thought crosses your mind, Wouldn’t it be interesting to put hills of squash around that corn? You reach for the catalog with that weird squash with the funny name. Things unfold moment to moment, crop to crop until you have a whole garden space figured out. Maybe you have had other ideas about shape or mulch or combining Flowers with vegetables as you have gone along. You jot everything down until you realize that a lot of pieces have come together. You have your plan.

If you want, you can check your ideas with kinesiology or another methods of dowsing. But I think it is equally okay just to give yourself the benefit of the doubt and TRUST YOURSELF. Grow out that garden, just like you saw it in your mind’s eye.

One of the reasons I trust that I receive accurate guidance from the Angels is because of the gardens that have grown from these designs. In every garden I have ever given over to this cooperative design process, there have been so many beautiful gemlike surprises and synchronicities, so much wonder and beauty that I know I am dealing with a form of expanded consciousness greater than the part of myself I typically identify as me.

These gardens feel different. You will recognize this difference. I go into these planning sessions with greater and greater confidence after having planned and planted at least a hundred different garden plots with the Angels in the last twenty years. As you get rolling, you too will return to these conversations with Angels with more and more confidence in yourself.

A NOD TO THE ELEMENTALS
When it is time to grow the seedlings and plant the gardens, I expand my advisory board to include the Elementals, as well as the Angels. The Elementals take the Angelic designs and hold the forms in manifestation. This means if I plant a radish seed where the Angels suggested I plant it, the optimum place for that seed according to the Angels, the Elementals will then bring their focus to the manifestation of the radish. How this pans out in terms of advising me is that the Elementals give me practical advice that aids them in manifesting the gardens. I am the human who improves the connection between the Angelic design process and the Elemental manifestation process.

We are all needed! The gardens you cooperatively create reflect the glory of you as well as the wisdom and strength of the Angels and Elementals!

Most of the time, the Angels’ general words of wisdom fall first on particular ears, ones that need to hear the messages loudly. That would be MY ears.

Today, I continued on with my efforts to put into practice Calabash’s advice to remember that less is more, to just say no, and to generally stop the bleeding with some judicious scheduling choices.

Hint. If you want to read a tale of effortlessly synthesizing Angelic wisdom into practice, stop here.

I started my day assembling two baked goods for a staff breakfast gathering. I was so impressed with myself that one of the items, spinach and feta filo triangles were actually ready in advance. I had, however, left my other contribution of a pie to the eleventh hour.

The pumpkin pie I made at dawn was a little strange. This was because I belatedly discovered that the pumpkin I cooked up was almost entirely seeds with no pulp. As I had already put all the other ingredients in the blender before I made this discovery, I made the pie anyways, hoping that hint of pumpkin would somehow be bracing enough to carry the day.

After the breakfast gathering in which no one remarked on the odd pie, I did a sink of dishes, because every other hand was needed on deck in the office to actually do what we do which is get Flower Essences launched to you.

With the last dish done, it was time to pick up William from school to take him to the orthodontist to get braces put on. This was an appointment I was told could only be done during the school day.

William’s appointment was an hour and a half long which in another age or were I a man would have meant that I had an hour and a half to leaf through tattered and stained magazines in a desultory manner. But because I was ignoring the Calabash Angels, I spent the hour and a half going to the grocery store to pick up supplies for tomorrow’s birthday fiesta for Jim.

I had a detailed list of ingredients needed for Jim’s birthday dinner choice of Pasta Puttanesca and Creme Brulee. I also had a list of food requests from Emily in Maine, and items for a birthday food basket for Lizzy who has a birthday just days after Jim.

As I stood in front of the capers section, (an aside here, if I may- Can you believe we live in a world where there IS a capers section in the supermarket?????)

Anyways, as I examined the thirty different options of capers before me, an old friend walked by.

John was wearing a jaunty hat over his ponytail and looked as if he hadn’t a care in the world. Because my overstuffed brain was a female one, I remembered that his eldest daughter is due to get married in a few weeks at a destination wedding on Maui.

I asked him how things were going and if he needed to go out early to help get things organized. He reported that lots of people were coming, but his only job was to show up.

Perhaps the book should not have been Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Perhaps a better title would have been, Women are from Earth, Men are from Another Galaxy. And I do not say this critically. I want to go to that galaxy, right now, this afternoon, only I know I would have to buy the tickets and pack the bags and that bogs me down a bit.

In any case, John from another galaxy got me laughing about life’s absurdities there in the caper section and then he moved on past a befuddled me, still overthinking my choice of capers.

I decided with a stomp of my foot, that even if I couldn’t go to John’s home galaxy, I could pretend to be him for a few hours. It sounded so restful. Imagine. Your only job at your child’s wedding is to show up.

So I asked myself, standing there before way to many caper options, ‘What Would John DO?” and I grabbed the biggest jar of capers. I did not cost compare. I did not think about the difference between dry and wet capers. I did not indulge myself in a concern that Jim’s birthday meal could be harmed by my choice of capers.

I supported my choice with quippy thoughts about wild mountain capers versus the cheap ones I had picked. I knew John would have a quip about this, one quickly formed by his less harried brain.

I chortled my way through the rest of my shopping, invoking my inner John. So what if Emily’s request for food from home included ramen, spaghetti-o’s, instant maple and brown sugar oatmeal, sugar cubes, but NO PIES MADE BY MAMA? So what if I had to circle back on my route six or eight times because of items I had missed my first half dozen times up and down the aisles. Being John was FUN!

With minutes to spare and a face relaxed from so much free wheeling joy in the supermarket, I returned to the orthodontist’s office to add a big chunk of change to our home equity debt. I coughed up a small fortune, then further signed my financial life away until 2010. My inner John wondered, “Was it really necessary to have me sign several places on every page?”

Yes, I am prepared to refinance my home at least once a year until this child in braces graduates from college!

And about that revolving mortgage? What crack did my inner John have for that? “I like thinking of my mid eighties as the time I will finally rope in the mortgage.”

And then there was the seventeen pound bag of information for parents that William handed me as we left the office. There was something about the bag’s smarmy slogan “Smile Under Construction” that made me want to bite someone.

As William and I read the enclosed 8″X4″ refrigerator magnet , we looked to our inner Johns. The perky list of foods William was not supposed to eat for two years included gum, candy, apples, carrots, nuts, popcorn, bagels, pizza crusts, jerky, hard pretzels, and ice cream.

Will’s mouth was already puffed in reaction to all the new metal. As we read that ice cream was a no no, Will began to look a bit teary eyed as well.

It was time to let go of John from another galaxy. When someone says no pizza crusts, bagels, or ice cream to a thirteen year old you know they have lost touch. You know they are from a galaxy far far away, much farther away than even John’s galaxy.

I was glad after all that I hadn’t gone to John’s galaxy or any other galaxy. While I hadn’t pared down or sorted out much that morning, I was at least, still here. And I knew what was needed by both of us in that instance. It was time to collect Will in my arms for a mother earth hug.